Porta-loo Explosion
I guess I had better let people know a little bit about me (see my personal profile), so I’m going to start by sharing a little about my home. I have lived all my life in a large and filthy town called Walsall, which is found just outside Birmingham, right in the heart of the black country, also affectionately* known as the arm-pit of Britain. It is famous for being boring, smelly and being run by morons.* not actually true. I mean affectionately in the same way that people ‘affectionately’ refer to their extended family as ‘eccentric’. What they really saying is that they’re appalled at being even distantly related to them.
For instance, the council, upon being informed by disgruntled elderly residents that their town centre smelled like an open sewer, decided to do something about it. (I say elderly because the younger population having had any vestiges of pride in their home-town leached away long ago, really couldn’t care less). Anyway, someone in the offices managed to have an idea; they bought thousands of lavender plants and put them in the town centre. Obviously this was treating the symptom rather than the problem, a bit like buying a double cheeseburger to solve a bulimics weight problem. It’s difficult to understand the response. You could compare it to having a particularly offensive turd on the rug in your living room and leaving it there for a few weeks to be trodden into the pile before declaring that it’s about time to buy an air-freshener. What you inevitably end up with is an unholy mixture; a doubly sickening floral-faeces stench that could choke a maggot, like a porta-loo explosion at a flower festival. Obviously this is just one of many misdemeanours of the Walsall Metropolitan Borough Council, many of which can be read about at the delightfully sarcastic Walsall Wonderland website. Read all about the local tramps and Walsall’s appalling history when it comes to commissioning works of public art.
On a more serious note Walsall has the highest teenage pregnancy rates in Europe and is one of the worst performing boroughs in the area of education. So, why do I want to live here again? Well the place isn’t important, you can tell that from what I’ve written. It’s because of the people. They are important.
If I believe that Jesus lived and died for people and I claim to follow him, then there are only two types of people living in Walsall; my friends, whom I love and everyone else, who I will spend the rest of my life learning to love. The only question remaining is a big one: What exactly does that look like?
Let me give you a clue…it doesn’t involve me dressing up in orange robes, dancing through the town centre whilst brandishing a tambourine, picking the aforementioned lavender and searching for ‘inner peace’. I’m learning that it’s all about finding a need - and filling it.
posted by Matt Heaton @ 5:33 pm
3 Comments:
To Walsall's credit we are the fastest recovering Social Services and have regained more points in 3 years than some boroughs have in 10. We're in the top third, well on our way to the top of the score board.
I do say I'm proud of my colleagues and our work even if I'm quite new in my job!
Indeeed Annie Shephard has managed to turn around the ailing Walsall Metropolitan Borough Council but, i fear, at the expense of the local residents. Since taking her job, council tax in Walsall has risen to one of the highest in the country. Bearing that in mind why is Annie one of the only councellors to refuse to disclose thier salary to the public?
:)
Indeed!!
You should see the drawings the young people at work have done on her face on the poster at work telling them who she is... I probably shouldn't lol, but isn't it ironic that she can protect the disclosure of her salary but hasn't visited in long enough that I know the kids who drew on the poster left us over a year ago?
May query her wages with Richard Shepherd, MP, since he seems to dialogue well.
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